Often we frame the idea of “shadow work” — those parts of ourselves that we aim to repress or that feel like an utter pain in the ass that we are to work through in order to gain some sort of mastery over— in terms of healing so that we can gain something. The emphasis being on eradicating that shadow. And, to be sure, I’m pro-therapy and in favor of authenticity and healing and self-knowledge for sure. But, today, also take a moment to consider the parts of the self that might actually be the flip side of a major strength or of really helpful information. Play with framing and see where you land. Or, write about a reframe that has already helped you turn what felt like a weakness into a huge strength or breakthrough.
For example, maybe you struggle with procrastination and you’ve tried lots of systems to try to overcome it…. but maybe you actually want and need to feel good about rest and breaks and time to goof off and maybe simply shifting that will make more space for your creative flourishing. Maybe after being told you were “too much” (message being that you should be smaller or less) you eventually leaned into that in lieu of struggling against it and realized you have a lot to say on the matters of visibility or representation or mentorship.
(In my case, after a lifetime of being told I’m “too much” and “always questioning everything,” I’ve found a great deal of clarity and power in both of those things, and that’s kept me highly motivated around helping folks, especially women, find power in visibility and find ways to thrive in their art. I’ve found career paths in which asking questions and challenging dominant/accepted narratives is a feature, not a flaw. Had I not leaned into the shadow part and lived believing I needed to be less or that I needed to learn to accept the status quo, etc— I might have stayed in conflict with that rather than found so much meaning in it.)
We all have considerable power in leaning into the things we think we need to hide.* Let’s write into that space today and see where we land.
*If your shadow thing is, like, murder or kicking puppies, absolutely do not lean into that, FFS. C’mon.