Make a list of all your shoulds. To be sure, some of them you probably absolutely should do like, say, eating breakfast or letting the dog out, even if you feel tired and tempted to do otherwise. But also include on your list things that maybe your family or the world has made you believe you need to do like get married, have kids, buy a house, or things you need to not do like not let your gray hair grow freely, not show your body, not leave an unhappy marriage, or not quit your job.
Now, poke through that list and note the things that feel forbidden but secretly exciting. Maybe the idea of leaving your jerk of a spouse or toxic job feels impossible even though you want to so badly it hurts. Or, maybe you secretly want big tattoo on your arm but you’re sure your family would tsk-tsk you to death. Maybe it’s those list items that feel unclear but nonetheless you feel some little energetic ping when you think about doing that thing. Pick one of those and free write today with the idea of so fucking what. So fucking what if you quit your job and got a better one or started a business or got a divorce or changed careers entirely or moved across the world. So fucking what if you got your nose pierced or got a neck tattoo or wore a miniskirt in your 70s or quit dyeing your gray hair or dyed it bring pink or whatever. Keep peeling back layers each time with a so fucking what. So fucking what if you family calls you unhinged or your boss gets mad at you or people don’t perceive you as normal or responsible or whatever.
Today, lean hard into the thing that feels daunting and write about the perceived consequences, peeling back layers and interrogating each one fully. There are spinoff essays lurking in each layer, and there are ideas of other things to write about that will likely come to you there, too. The important thing is to write, peel and interrogate. Let’s do that.
*A caveat I’d offer, is that the goal here, yes, is to get you thinking about things more freely in an effort to open you to move creatively generative experiences. But, some layers might actually reveal complications and considerations like risking bodily harm, domestic violence, etc. Just about everything has a solution and is figure-out-able, but only you know where the line is between boldness and putting yourself or others in harm’s way and biting off more emotional labor than you can safely bear at the moment. Be honest with yourself and interrogate each belief to ensure that it’s actually true as opposed to something you’ve told yourself is true, but also take care of yourself and make choices that honor what you need.